No, This Isn't How To Spot A Criminal Defense Attorney's Kid

I'm one of those that laughs at things on the internet that others don't find funny. I think people get a little too bent out of shape about well-intended jokes that because they don't fit in to someone's narrow agenda, are criticized as "not funny."

But I didn't find this funny.

Yes, that's a post by another civil lawyer who believes that only civil law is lucrative - as we criminal lawyers are all out here taking a few bucks for small cases, and that it's funny that a criminal defense attorney's kid is saying "fuck the police."

Reminds me of something that happened a couple weeks ago at my dinner table.

I was relaying that I saw a police officer my family knows, to which my youngest said "where, at the doughnut shop?"

The dinner table conversation ceased. I looked at my wife and thought "where did she hear that?" We certainly don't joke around the house about the old police/doughnut connection. I then let her know I didn't think it was funny, and didn't want to hear it again - not in my presence, or someone else's - especially around school where someone's parent may be a cop.

Yes, my days are filled trying to find their mistakes, where they violated constitutional rights, and how I'm going to show that their allegations are BS. But the not-so-secret secret amongst criminal defense lawyers is that many of us are friendly with law enforcement. Some of us have close friends that wear guns and badges. Others, well, we enjoy a mutual respect. When our homes are robbed, we call the police, when we have a car accident, we look to the police to resolve the dispute between opposing cars. When they drive around the neighborhood, we wave, and when they attend the local community events, we say hello. Whether it's the cop we've known for years that slaps us on the back after we trash him on the stand, or the one that remembers the advice we gave him as a young rookie, or the one that lets us surrender our client next Tuesday, instead of "immediately." We both have a job to do.

Yes, there are scumbag cops, and there are scumbag lawyers. But there is no room for a culture of either cops or lawyers finding joy in their kids lack of respect for either. Is there a cop's kid writing "lawyers are assholes," on a chalkboard?

So I don't know where my kid heard this doughnut shop comment - maybe it was on TV, or maybe it was from some kid at school with a chalkboard at home and a parent with an interesting sense of parenting.

Non-anonymous comments welcome.Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court, and the author of The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. Post to Twitter

Listening In On A "Double Your Income Call."

The email was one of many I, and other lawyers, receive:

I am hosting a free teleseminar on August 10, 2011 entitled:

"How to Double Your Criminal Defense Practice Income Without Spending One Extra Hour In The Office”

What I will reveal in this call will enable you to design and implement a strategy to boost your practice revenues and boost them quickly! These are proven techniques

One hour, on the phone, a free call, the tips I needed to build my dream practice, only 200 lines available, RSVP now.

So I did.

And then I waited. I waited for the email: "Sorry Mr. Tannebaum, we're all full (because we know who you are and are not letting you near this call.)

It never came. I guess I'm not that famous. Damn.

I got plenty of auto follow-up emails from her, but not the expected, "sorry folks, parks closed" one.

The host?

Rachel Kugel, admitted to the Bar in 2005.

I don't know her, don't know anything about her reputation as a lawyer, just this, and this.

Here's what happened on the call.

It was an interview type conversation. A seemingly drooling questioner, and Rachel answering the questions. It was like an infomercial on the phone. Just enough was said to get people to want more.

The first thing was about who she is - "I'm not a marketing coach." "I don't teach what I don't do." "My primary income comes from being a lawyer."

OK. Sounds good.

She told of her history - solo right out of school, and a half-million in income two years later. There were also hints that that number is now one million.

Now everyone is listening.

The overriding theme was that this can be done, as a criminal defense lawyer, with little work. That kept being said over and over again. It sounded attractive to the young, desperate "how to make money as a lawyer" lawyers, although Rachel made it clear it was for all lawyers. There was no doubt that the strategy was to let people know over and over again that making money taking other people's lives into your hands was "easy" and required "little work to implement."

The system involves getting clients to hire you. It has nothing to do with actually representing them. It is all about "being first" to get the client, convincing them you are "the expert" to handle their DUI or shoplifting case through forms and other tactics, (these two types of cases were mentioned over and over again, no other examples of cases were mentioned), and charging more while obtaining these clients without having to be in the office by "leveraging technology," (read: e-mail, etc...). At one point Rachel said that potential clients get messages from her that make it seem that they are actually coming from her (read: auto, canned, messages.)

She referred to her many vacations and stress-free life, her "Park Avenue address" where she only has to go there "when I want." The questioner thought that was absolutely amazing. I think it's probably a time-share Regus type deal.

She revealed that her average fee is $4,000. This would mean that on average, she opens 250 cases a year or, on average, over 4 cases a week.

The talk was all about the smaller cases. She said that a lawyer she knew said he would take on high profile big murder cases for the sole purpose of getting hired on smaller cases like DUI and shoplifting. I found that interesting, because in my 17 years, I have found that most lawyers who do high-profile murder cases do them to get other high-profile murder cases or other high-profile cases. But maybe I'm wrong.

The word system started to be mentioned. At one point, the questioner said "we've heard system, system, system," and then he asked her to elaborate. This was exactly 45 minutes in to the call.

It's $1297, although we were told it's worth tens of thousands of dollars.

But wait, there's more.

For the callers, a couple "bonus" items, including a personal coaching call from Rachel.

And for us, $997, with a 90 day guarantee that it will work.

Rachel at one point said one of her goals was to "return honor" to our practice. I have no idea how teaching lawyers to convince clients (whether it's true or not) that you are the expert for their shoplifting case is going to "return honor" to our practice. I think there's plenty of honor. Teaching lawyers to make money by strategic marketing tools that are less than a face to face meeting with the new client, isn't real attractive to me.

I don't know how many people were on the call last night, or how many signed up - you can do the math.

And that's my report on the call.

Rachel did say one thing that I liked - that when clients get her on the phone they have already decided to hire her. That's something I've strived for - to get rid of the, as she says "tire kickers."

Although when clients hire me, it's not because they are dazzled with my strategy, my leveraging of technology, or my ability to make it seem like I am actually talking to them.

It's because they need a good lawyer, I hope.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court, and the author of The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. Post to Twitter

If A Post About TSA Fell In A Forrest...

I haven't spent much time talking about the TSA. Unlike my good American Mark Bennett, I still fly. I have plenty of other things that invoke my anger, but the recent allegations of a strip search of some old lady at JFK Airport have caused me to write.

I write not to express outrage at the notion that airport security would ask some old lady to take her pants off, I write to ask what the point is in even talking about it?

What's the point of pounding the keyboard to rant about the unbelievable power of TSA and the cowards in Congress who allow it to continue?

Very little will ever change.

TSA can do whatever they want because our air transportation system has had no terrorist attacks since 9/11/01. As long as that stat remains, they can do whatever they want. If they want to make changes to their search tactics, they can do that, but no elected member or members of Congress are going to say something like "enough with the old ladies and kids."

The fear is that one day a terrorist group will use an old lady or 5 year old kid to bring down a 747, and then of course the member of Congress who advocated reasonableness in airport security will be defeated at the voting booth. And no one wants to be defeated at the voting booth. No one.

The philosophy of TSA is simple - everyone is a potential terrorist. Everyone.

Last week I was at Tampa International Airport where in front of me was some middle aged mom with her husband. She clearly looked like she was headed to see her kids for the weekend or some other non-terrorist activity. But, yes, Al-Queda could have recruited her and deep inside those mom jeans could have been a device ready to kill everyone on their way on a Friday morning from Tampa to Toledo.

TSA spent a lot of time with her - gloves, questions, pat downs. No discretion, no reasonable thought. It was just, "let's check out this mom so no one thinks they get a pass just because they are wearing a knit sweater and their luggage tag has a picture of 2 dogs."

TSA has now apologized, kind of to Ms. Zimmerman. "Sorry." It was a finely crafted (bullshit) apology):

TSA contacted the passenger to apologize that she feels she had an unpleasant screening; however, TSA does not include strip searches in its protocols and a strip search did not occur in this case" said a spokesman for TSA.

"Sorry you feel being asked to take off your pants was a strip search you old bag, perhaps you should look up the legal and technical definition of a strip search before you accuse us of strip searching you just because your pants were off you stupid old lady."

There was no video, so TSA initially did their perfect "no video" response by denying everything. Perhaps they thought everyone would believe this woman took her pants off voluntarily. They are the TSA and they are keeping us safe and when you keep us safe, we believe everything you say. Everything. Just keep keeping us safe by making us take our cash out of our pockets.

I know there are people who think that it's important that we continue to write about these disgusting tactics of TSA, and I'm not saying it's' not. But I do hope we all know that the TSA doesn't care. They can do whatever they want, and they do.

Non-anonymous comments welcome.Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court, and the author of The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. Post to Twitter

It's Time For A National Conversation On Law Enforcement

It's almost a daily exercise, watching video of law enforcement conduct that raises eyebrows. The responses are always the same: 1) The video doesn't tell the entire story, 2) We don't understand the "adrenaline" that causes police officers to beat the living crap out of suspects after they are securely in custody, and 3) So what, the guy's a criminal anyway.

We as criminal defense lawyers, civil libertarians, and yes, even some prosecutors and judges, watch these videos and know that there is a large segment of the country that finds this conduct just "part of the job."

And then something like this pops up:



College students, sitting in a line, in custody, being pepper sprayed in an image that reminds those of us who have seen them, of the videos of mass executions, like this one:



And so Officer Pike has been placed on leave, he'll probably be fired, and I hope arrested for aggravated assault. (Cue the giggles of the defense bar).

A few years ago I was sitting with a law-and-order type who had grown tired of the increase in minimum mandatory sentences, the lack of discretion of judges to do what they felt was right, and he made a comment that finds it's way in to this discussion:

"Why did the government believe after September 11, that the thing to do was to give all the power to prosecutors and cops?"

That's what we did, and we did it because all we wanted was to be safe.

Today, politicians confidently state that the number one priority of government is to "keep us safe. Is it? Is that what the majority of Americans want from their government more than anything? I ask because since Barack Obama has been President of the United States, we haven't had a terrorist attack and it looks like he's going to be fighting for his job next year.

Alexis Madrigal, in one of the best articles on the pepper spraying by Officer Pike that lays out how we got here, he writes:

9/11 put the final nail in the coffin of the previous protest-control regime. By the time of the Free Trade of the Americas anti-globalization protests in Miami broke out eight years ago this week, an entirely new model of taking on protests had emerged. People called it the Miami model. It was heavily militarized and very forceful. The police had armored personnel carriers.

As for what happened to the students of UC Davis: Authorities have long claimed that they were merely battling the "black bloc" of violent anarchists. But when you look at all these videos, the bogeyman isn't there.

Instead, it's a dozen scared kids and a police officer named John Pike spraying them in the face from three feet away. And while it's his finger pulling the trigger, the police system is what put him in the position to be standing in front of those students. I am sure that he is a man like me, and he didn't become a cop to shoot history majors with pepper spray. But the current policing paradigm requires that students get shot in the eyes with a chemical weapon if they resist, however peaceably. Someone has to do it.

Where are we going here? Where are the leaders in the country, on both sides of the political sphere, who believe that all this must stop, and stop now?

Law enforcement can make or break some political candidate's campaigns. Anyone in politics knows that.

But it's time to put aside the desire to gain and remain in public office at the expense of ignoring what is happening on the streets of this country, and to our kids.

It's time to have a real conversation about this. It's time for the media, government, civic and business leaders, and law enforcement, to sit down and talk about this.

Things need to change.

Now.



Non-anonymous comments welcome.Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court, and the author of The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. Post to Twitter

Amanda And Casey

As I write, Amanda Knox is on a British Airways plane to London on her way home to Seattle after an Italian appellate court overturned her murder conviction. The majority of Americans (not as many Italians) are happy. After 4 years in prison, Amanda Knox will return to the United States, to the loving arms of her family, the media, the book publishers, and movie producers.

Like Casey Anthony, much of the Amanda Knox trial was shown on television. Like Casey Anthony, American White Trash's favorite TV hack Nancy Grace spent a great deal of time on the Knox case.

And so yesterday, after the verdict, I commented that now we have "another young female defendant goes free on a murder charge and we all celebrate. Well, the first part at least is true."

Of course the public and private response was that "the cases were different."

I know that, but the real response, never said, was "don't mess with my anger that Casey was acquitted while I celebrate Amanda's freedom, even though I really don't know what happened in either case."

So what was different?

First and foremost, there was a dead toddler in one case.

Second, one case was in America, where we blindly trust the judicial system. The other case was in a foreign country. It doesn't matter which country - we don't trust justice in any other country.

Third, we knew everything about Casey's behavior during the investigation. We viewed her as a liar, and therefore a murderer. We didn't follow every move since the murder in Amanda's case. We saw her as a pretty young exchange student.

In the end, Amanda's case was too far away and involved much of the unkown regarding Italian criminal law for us to find her guilty before trial. Sure, there were scandalous allegations about Amanda's sex life and reputation, but those came from foreign prosecutors, so they were disregarded, by Americans.

What do we know about Amanda's case that comforts us in our happiness over her freedom - the DNA was contaminated. With that, we cheer her freedom. We need to know nothing else.

Did Amanda participate in the murder? Amanda is coming home, and that's all we care about.

Sure, the cases are different. Every case is different. But one thing is the same in both cases - we don't know what really happened.

Welcome home Amanda.

Non-anonymous comments welcome.Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court, and the author of The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. Post to Twitter

How To Hire A (Criminal) Lawyer

There are few experienced criminal defense lawyers who can't say they've "seen it all." But then this pops up:

An order from Southern District of Florida Magistrate William Turnoff, worth a pause in your day, tells the story of a criminal defense lawyer who went on a crime spree with a client's family:

On March 14, 2008, [Emmanuel]Roy appeared before the Honorable Ted. E. Bandstra and announced that he would be filing a temporary notice of appearance as counsel for Defendant. According to the billing records, Roy also met with Coulton , “co-counsel Peter U. Mayas,” AUSA Fine, and Agent “Cuddington,” and made telephone calls, for which he billed a total of 12 hours. The court minutes reflected that the hearing lasted 5 minutes.

Taking a step back, Emmanuel Roy had already been retained by the client's wife, at the rate of $600 per hour with a $150,000 retainer. This was his arrangement with the wife, to whom he said nothing about making fee arrangements with other family members.

Mrs. Sewell, Ms. Reid, and other family members pooled funds from their savings accounts, pension plans, and a credit union loan to pay the legal fees to Roy. (Tr. at 49-52). Mrs. Sewell provided Roy with cashier’s checks totaling $83,000.00. (Tr. at 53). The copies of the cashier’s checks showed payments to Roy & Associates as follows: $30,000.00 on March 17, 2008; $4,000.00 on March 24, 2008; $16,000.00 on April 14, 2008; $10,000.00 on April 16, 2008; $3,200.00 and $10,000.00 on May 12, 2008; and $13,000.00 on August 2, 2008. (Exh. L). Mrs. Sewell never received copies of IRS Form 8300 evidencing these payments, and Roy’s billing records were inconsistent with regard to the amounts documented in Defendant’s exhibits. (Tr. at 53); (Exh. L; P). Roy failed to advise them that he was also obtaining jewelry and other assets from Mrs. Coulton as payment toward his legal fees. (Tr. at 54). Even a cursory review of the billing records concerning the time billed, the services rendered, and the amounts paid, reveals that they are fraudulent.

Roy then flew to London, with his wife, met with the client's wife, and at breakfast had her hand over her wedding ring. This was before having her turn over her condo to him, valued at over $250,000.00.

It goes on. It gets worse. One of the worst 33 pages of lawyer misconduct I've seen.

Despite their ineligibility to practice before this Court, neither Roy nor Mayas ever informed Coulton, his wife, his family, AUSA Fine, or the Court, that he was not authorized to appear as counsel in this District. (Tr. at 12; 56); (ECF No. 169). On the contrary, Roy actually lied to Defendant’s family informing them that he was not only a former Assistant District Attorney in Florida, but that he had also worked with AUSA Fine.

Roy wasn't even admitted to practice in the Southern District. He lied about having been a prosecutor. He lied about "meeting" with the judge. He lied about so many things. He filed pleadings under someone elses electronic filing account number.

When a family member finally received a call back after sentencing: [Roy] told her that he had been invited to President Obama’s inauguration and that, since the “head of the U.S. Bureau of Prisons” would be there, he would discuss Mr. Coulton’s medical issues with him at that time.

Here's the cap on his and his co-counsel's career:

Given the willful, deliberate, and fraudulently contemptuous conduct committed by Roy and Mayas; given that their conduct appears to be driven solely by a desire to line their own pockets; given that they committed numerous ethical violations during the course of their representation of Coulton; and given the public policy issues at stake, extraordinarily severe sanctions are in order. Accordingly, the Court holds Roy and Mayas, and their respective law firms, in contempt of court and imposes the following sanctions: (1) that they disgorge all fees obtained as a result of their unauthorized practice with interest; (2) that they be publicly reprimanded; (3) that they be barred from practicing in this District; (4) that they be required to reimburse Coulton for all fees and costs incurred in order to obtain counsel; (5) that they be required to fully cooperate with Coulton in his efforts to collect any and all sums owed to him as a result of these proceedings; (6) that they be required to pay all fees and costs to do so; and (7) that they each be referred to the Bar for disciplinary proceedings.

Looks like Emmanuel Roy has other problems to deal with as well.

This is one of the most offensive stories of lawyer misconduct I've seen. Going on a crime spree while taking advantage of the foreign family of a incarcerated client is despicable. The list of offenses here, the conspiracies that occurred - are an embarrassment.

But it also begs a question. How many other lawyers out there are benefitting from a client's lack of research? It's easy to determine whether a lawyer is admitted to practice in a certain jurisdiction, so why didn't anyone look?

When I've written before about the fraud the permeates the internet, I often get the "shut up Brian, we're not stupid, we can look at Google."

But we don't. Clients, don't.

I think Google and the greater internet is the enemy of lawyers who want to lie, who want to bolster their credentials, and hope that unknowing potential clients don't know any better, or don't know what questions to ask. If the Coulton family had taken a few moments to research their lawyer, they may have discovered he's not even admitted to practice in the Southern District of Florida.

But in the world of criminal defense, there is desperation. There is the client and the client's family who will write checks to the first lawyer who tells them what they want to hear. Typing names on the internet takes too long, unless we're looking for the cheapest price.

h/t South Florida Lawyers

Non-anonymous comments welcome.Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court, and the author of The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. Post to Twitter

The Criminal Defense Mafia

As practice areas go, the criminal defense bar is about as collegial as it gets.

Yes, we, like any other type of "consumer" lawyers (PI, divorce), have our bunch that market themselves to death, but we tend to come together more often than other types of lawyers, as there is still a large group of us who are actually doing this work with the understanding that it means something. And so when Bob is going to be held in contempt you may find a dozen or so fellow criminal defense lawyers in the courtroom for support, and when Jim has a trial tomorrow, a few of us will send him some voir dire questions to help him out. We generally, not always, look out for our colleagues.

But there exists a mafia within our group. It's the former federal prosecutor mafia. There's probably a former state prosecutor mafia, but it's less structured, and generally isn't in on major white collar cases. Major white collar cases are where the "money" is, and where there is money, there are assholes who don't care about quality of representation or the client's choice of lawyer. More about that in a minute.

I've said forever that there is a difference between a criminal defense lawyer and a former prosecutor. Especially the "WE'RE FORMER PROSECUTORS" crew. That statement is much more true when you throw in former federal prosecutor.

Federal prosecutors are generally sprouted from better law schools and spent some time in BigLaw prior to going to work for the gubmint. When they leave the U.S. Attorney's office, it's rarely because they developed a sense that defending criminals was meaningful, rather, there's another BigLaw opportunity to be the "white collar" lawyer (never "criminal defense" - never), or they want to start a defense boutique and use their perceived connection to the office as a springboard to clients. "I used to work there, so I can get better deals." What most people don't' realize, is that most people, "used to work there." They're gone too. What most people don't realize either, is that current prosecutors don't like it much when their former colleagues use "I use to work here" as an attempt to gain some benefit. Client's don't really know that, so, whatever.

When former federal prosecutors go out in to the world of criminal defense, they generally like to stick with their former colleagues. Nothing wrong with that, except when they violate the Rules of Professional Responsibility, and violate the unwritten rule of helping clients without concern for their own ass.

The first time I realized there was a mafia in law though, it was not from a former prosecutor, it was a civil lawyer.

I was right out of the PD's office and received a call from a newly arrested business owner. It wasn't a big white collar case, he was charged with possession of cocaine.

We spoke on the phone and he agreed to hire me. He just wanted me to come to his business to get the check and meet. Being a young hungry lawyer, I obliged. When I arrived, he had a look of fear on his face and apologized. He had spoken with his civil lawyer who told him "you cannot hire that guy, if you don't hire the lawyer I am recommending to you, I will no longer work for you."

And that was that.

The former federal prosecutor mafia is much more apparent. I see the same half dozen lawyers in the same white collar cases, and I used to wonder - just how did that happen?

Now let me pause and say that yes, when I have co-defendants come to my office, I will recommend other lawyers. I make the recommendation based on who I think is the best lawyer for the client, having nothing to do with where they used to work. I have a weird sense that clients should be paired up with good lawyers that are a good fit, period.

The way it really works though, is like an insurance company.

There's a lead lawyer. He meets with all the co-defendants. He's getting paid by the company or the guy with the money. He recommends lawyers. The lawyers he recommends will all be paid for by his client. The other clients are free to hire who they want (with much discouragement), but they are on their own.

So a client hears of the investigation and calls their friendly neighborhood lawyer who they've known for 15 years. They advise of the situation and say they are not doing anything without this particular lawyer. When the subpoena comes, or the agent comes knocking, they call the head of the mafia who advises that friendly neighborhood lawyer is not a good choice, because he's real expensive and mafia head won't pay his fee regardless. He will though, pay the fee of a fellow "former federal prosecutor" who will of course represent the client marvelously and within the confines of what the mafia wants - information and access to the client.

There sometimes comes a point where the client wonders whether the lawyer "assigned" to them is looking out for their best interest, but often it's too late. If the client winds up charged and wants to go to trial, well, they'll get to that, maybe.

Some of these lawyers are very good, mind you, but the way they handle cases and bring other lawyers in, is a dirty little secret of our profession.

At least it was.

Non-anonymous comments welcome.Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court, and the author of The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. Post to Twitter