A blog by Miami Criminal Defense Lawyer Brian Tannebaum. Commenting on criminal law issues of local and national interest.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

17 Great Things About Being A Criminal Defense Lawyer In 2009

[1] We won’t be announcing layoffs in our real estate division.

[2] We won’t be moving attorneys into other “profitable” departments.

[3] We still can agree to things without “confirmatory letters.”

[4] We won’t have to explain where the tens of millions of dollars in our trust account went.

[5] We get to go to court, not just threaten to.

[6] We don’t have to wonder if we’ll “make partner.”

[7] We celebrate yet another year of not caring about “top 10%” or “law review.”

[8] The hundreds of stories beginning with “BigLaw” won’t be about us.

[9] We’ll have much better answers for “how do you sleep at night?”

[10] We will continue to have “people” that can’t pay, not “clients” that can’t pay. (translation to the humorless among us lawyers: people that can’t pay don’t become criminal defense clients unless by choice)

[11] If someone in comes into our office because they “need to talk” to us, it’ll be good news.

[12] There will still be lawyers, even unemployed lawyers, who “couldn’t do” what we do.

[13] We get to ask: “Civil litigation?” “How do you make money?”

[14] We get to ask: “Estate planning?” “How do you make money?”

[15] We get to ask: “Commercial litigation?” “How do you make money?”

[16] We are much better prepared to tell others that “things are slow.”

[17] We are just much more fun than tax lawyers.

And finally,

[17] We’re necessary.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Monday, December 29, 2008

Teaching The Jacksonville Politics Blog To Say Please or Thank You

UPDATE: They apologized

I noticed over the past couple days that someone was visiting my blog from the Jacksonville Politics Blog. Thought it was nice, always enjoy new visitors. I presumed it had something to do with my mention of the political scene in the Jacksonville State Attorney and Public Defender's Office.

Then I notice the Jacksonville Politics Blog wrote this post with this poll:

Will you attend Matt Shirk's Love Fest?

Yeah, I'm scared not to go. Got bills to pay.

$##%%#$ No!

Twisting in the wind right now, maybe!

Matt Shirk is my idol. I'll break down the door.



Kinda looks like the poll on the top right. --------->

So, Jacksonville Politics Blog, here's the rules of the blogosphere:

[1] Reprint all you want.

[2] Ask to reprint if you wish, but at least attribute your welcome theft to the original author.

[3] The translation of Rule #2 is: "say please or thank you."

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Monday Morning Clients, Tuesday Afternoon Clients

In my ebook, The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer, my number one tip to being a good criminal defense lawyer's client is to never call your lawyer on a Monday morning. Wait until Tuesday afternoon.

So here comes tomorrow, Monday, after vacation. After the world has been on vacation. The clients who haven't read the ebook, and even those who did, will call. The calls will begin right at 9:00 a.m. Those trying to be subtle will wait until 9:12 a.m. Some will send e-mails tonight or early tomorrow morning. One already called during the week, requesting a meeting for, Monday morning. Reason? To tell me the same thing he's told me over and over again. I, have no news for him because he was just arraigned before Christmas and discovery isn't due for a few more days.

Me, I like to see the state's evidence before I engage in a post-consultation meeting with the client to "discuss the case."

Welcome back Brian.

It's as if on their calendar is a big red ALL CAPS entry on Monday morning: BRIAN'S BACK

No matter the stated reason for calling, the singular reason is this: to remind me that they are my client, and I am their lawyer.

It is a fascinating phenomenon that begins after the initial consultation. I'll meet with a potential client at 3 p.m. one day, and the next day he will call and say "hi, I met with you yesterday, we talked about my fraud case....."

Now I can understand this with a volume practice, the kind where the potential client shows up to an office with 6 people sitting in the lobby, but I do not have a volume practice. Usually, when my clients arrive in the office, there is no more than one other client there.

But still, the criminal defense client believes that once they leave the office, once I leave on vacation, I have washed my mind and desk of all evidence of their case.

It is the Monday morning calls that bother me the most.

I am conscientious with my clients. I actually tell them I am going away and specifically address their case. "We're still waiting for discovery, it should arrive after January 1." "I've called the prosecutor and he's gone until January 5."

When I go away for long weekends, any client who is under investigation and could possibly be arrested is advised of my travels and told that another criminal defense lawyer is aware of the situation and available. We know in the criminal defense bar that going on vacation or long weekends could result in getting fired.

Criminal defense lawyers on vacation? During my case? Blasphemy!

So tomorrow, Monday, there's nothing to discuss, and you, my client, know that. You are not actually expecting me to say "while I was on vacation, while everyone was on vacation, I actually got a call from the prosecutor from his grandmother's home in Indiana and we discussed your case." You are calling for one reason: "remember me?"

I like the Tuesday afternoon clients. The clients who know that tomorrow, I'll be reviewing a week of mail, any incoming phone calls, making notes on what needs to be done in the coming days, weeks, months. They'll wait to have a real conversation with me and not just my assistant telling them "He's under a pile of paper right now, can he call you back when he gets settled?"

Particularly interesting is that the Tuesday afternoon clients begin their phone call with "how was your vacation?"

Monday morning clients begin with "what's going on with my case?" I'd have more respect for them if they said "Brian? hey, good, you're back, now let's get on with it."

See you tomorrow, morning, looking forward to Tuesday afternoon.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Speak Up On My Poll Harris County Prosecutors! (Anonymously Of Course)


While we here in Florida, specifically Jacksonville, have our own comical display of leadership with a new State Attorney and Public Defender, seems the inability to lead like a....leader, has spread to Harris County (Houston) Texas.

Newly elected former judge Pat Lykos appears to have read a spinoff of "How To Make Friends And Influence People," entitled "I Don't Care About Making Friends, Just Screwing With People."

She's an interesting lady. She's forced an expert witness to remove his yarmulke been referred to by Harris County family lawyers as a "crazy bitch," began her term by firing 7 prosecutors and 3 investigators including one who publically blogged about her on many occasions including this one about her telling secretaries 3 days before Christmas they were gone come January 1.

Now she's summoned her minions to her swearing in on NEW YEAR'S DAY, a federal holiday that most of spend with family, nursing hangovers, watching parades, and not kissing the ass of our boss.

No RSVP needed to the Lykos coronation, it's mandatory. That's right, cancel all inbound plane tickets for January 2, 3, 4 you plebes.

See, when a new DA is elected, they and their assistants has to be sworn in, otherwise we defense attorneys will claim that all prosecutions going forward are null and void. In Miami this swearing in usually occurs on the day the elected state attorney takes office, at about 8:30 a.m., before court begins. No real inconvenience.

But Pat Lykos is different, she believes that there is nothing her assistants and their families would rather do than listen to her give a speech about whatever she wishes to discuss. Oh, and there's a reception to boot. Why party at your house, in your backyard, with your family and friends when you can go to work?

So I asked the Texas Tornado, Mark Bennett, whether the prosecutors would take a stand and not show up, or be sheep. he posted that question. Not a big response. I foresee a bunch of long faces and shrugged shoulders showing up on New Year's Day, and for that, I am dissapointed.

So to protect the anonymity of those prosecutors who will speak out for justice in court, but not on the internet, I've created a poll - it's right there on the top right. Have at it.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Friday, December 26, 2008

Sweet Justice? Lawyer Arrested For Giving Inmate Candy

With dwindling state budgets causing every side of the criminal justice system to consider the dirty word "re-prioritize," (translated and spun: "cause chaos in the streets") out comes this sour story of a lawyer arrested for giving his inmate/client a piece of candy in court.

Prescott, Arizona!

Click the name to see that this is "everybody's hometown," and they are actively looking for volunteer dog walkers. I kid you not.



That up there is the Mayor of Prescott, Mr. Jack Wilson. Don't know what kind of candy he likes. I predict Werther's hard candy.

This here below is a map of Prescott, which you can see is right by, uh, by, well, it's in Arizona.



Now before this 38 year old menace to society damn lawyer was arrested in his home, he began his crime spree by asking two detention officers if he could feed his client a piece of candy. He was "warned against it," but obviously seeing no reason it would cause him to be handcuffed himself and booked into the jail, sans candy, he went ahead and GASP! gave his client the candy.

In addition to asking permission, and yes, ignoring the "warning" he also asked the officers "what are you going to do, arrest me?"

Why, yes.

Now this was no knee-jerk reaction to this obvious criminal act. The officers were careful in their investigation, turning the matter over the sheriff's criminal division for a decision.

"Gee Earl, yuh think next time one dem law-yrs may uh hand over sum dat Pop Rock candy that killed thut Mikey kid?"

Here's the kicker (literally). Sheriff's officials said (cue the banjos): "The concern we have is that no contraband should be passed to an inmate," That's the rule. We don't know what's in it. If we allow attorneys to feed our inmates it would be a security issue _ they get fed three squares a day and we don't feed them in court."

Reminds me of this line from the Breakfast Club:

"If he gets up . . . we'll all get up . . . it'll be anarchy!"



It was funny in the movie. Not as funny here. The joke here, is the Prescott, Arizona Sheriff's Office.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Solution To The Public Defender Crisis

The Miami Herald reported on Christmas that "poor people in Miami-Dade County waiting for their day in court on lower-level felony charges may have to wait much longer to face a judge -- or spend big bucks on a private attorney."

First of all Miami Herald, who are you kidding? Where have you been? No need to spend "big bucks" on a private attorney these days. Just check your mailbox post arrest - deals are everywhere on the defense of your liberty. Don't have the money to hire a good lawyer, you can hire a crappy one, cheap.

Now on to the real issue.

My old stomping grounds, the Miami-Dade Public Defender's Office, took a stand and filed a motion in court seeking to remove themselves from accepting new non-capital felonies. They won that motion, which is now on appeal. Read: "You'll handle as many cases as we give you public defenders and like it."

So now the office is going to re-prioritize their caseload, another move garnering criticism. Read: "You'll do what we tell you, and how we tell you to do it." The office is not going to be able to spend as much time on grand theft, drug possession and other third-degree felonies. Grand Theft, a stolen car. Didn't know that was even a crime in Miami anymore. Most jurors during jury selection say "I've never been a victim of a crime, just had a car stolen once."

The elected Public Defender, my old boss Bennett Brummer says "the situation deteriorates week by week."

Bennett goes on to boldly say that "people are entitled to a meaningful day in court, and right now I cannot say they are getting that."

Although most people are concerned about murder, rape, robbery and of course speeding, Miami-Dade's Public Defender's Office is assigned between 1,000 and 1,500 third-degree felonies a month. That's 60 percent of most public defenders' caseloads, says my old boss.

My old boss' priorities clash with the legislature, as at the bottom of his priority list are people charged with third-degree felonies who are not in custody. This includes the crimes of criminal mischief and driving with a revoked license, punishable in Florida by the wisdom of our legislature by up to five years in jail.

Bennett says his office's caseload means his staff no longer has the ability to "effectively investigate cases, meet with clients, locate and interview witnesses, take depositions, and otherwise prepare for trial in a timely manner."

Now what Bennett is unhappy about is this pesky language:

"In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence."

That's the Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution.

It's one annoying piece of law for state legislators.

Today, it wouldn't pass, and if it did, the State of Florida would find a way to exempt themselves from its effect.

Here's what Florida would like to see:

Assuming the legislature cannot get the votes to abolish the public defender system and create a system whereby "all estate planning attorneys and other non-criminal attorneys can escort the guilty defendants, pro-bono, to their arraignment for a "speedy and public" plea of guilty:

[1] Upon the appointment of the public defender, the assistant public defender accepting the appointment will immediately object and ask for further inquiry into the indigency of the guilty defendant, thus creating an immediate conflict of interest requiring the appointment of alternate (preferably a civil practitioner) counsel.

[2] Should the court deny the appeal of indigency by the public defender, the prosecutor, or arresting law enforcement officer (or any other law enforcement officer possessing any documentation, overheard conversation, or opinion) will proffer the evidence against the guilty defendant.

[3] The public defender will have the opportunity to ask 3 questions.

[4] Should the prosecutor have the "professional opinion" that the defendant is guilty, the defendant may still request a trial, however the public defender will be discharged at said hearing.

Problem solved.

And don't think there are those in government who don't think I have a fantastic idea.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

See You In A Few

I'm taking a few days off. While I'm gone, please enjoy the music.



Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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London Calling - A Podcast Across The Pond

Yesterday I participated in a podcast with "CharonQC" from London.

“Charon QC” is a lawyer, after a fashion, but is not a practitioner. He has taught law for many years - and, to his surprise, still enjoys law; although he enjoys other academic interests as well. He awarded himself the title QC when the Lord Chancellor suspended the award for real lawyers. Now, as no-one can instruct him in any matter, or would wish to, he is free to comment as he wishes on matters which catch his attention. He is, of course, a figment of a febrile imagination . He drinks Rioja - in fact he will drink any red wine, smokes Silk cut, reads all the newspapers (3 Tabloids 4 broadsheets…most days) , has a passion for motorbikes and sips espressos three time a day - ordering two each time. He sleeps for 4 hours a night - but that is his problem. He gets up and starts work (sometimes, it has to be said… writing a blog post) between 3.30 - 4.00 every morning…

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Acquit Blagojevich, Drier, Maddoff

I've stated before that "justice" is defined as a conviction. After an acquittal, the media reports that "the (family, victim) still don't have justice."

It's disgraceful.

"Justice" is a system, made up of judges, prosecutors, defense lawyers, witnesses, evidence, and that pesky "burden of proof" that requires "proof beyond a reasonable doubt."

Sometimes a conviction is an injustice.

We don't care. There is no outrage over the droves of innocent convicted defendants released from prisons after decades of serving time. We hear the story, say "wow," and move on to the next trial or plea.

So we turn to our current slew of high profile defendants, and we wait. We wait for their convictions, justice.

I want them acquitted. I want a jury to find them not guilty. I want the flurry of media attention to be meaningless.

Just like OJ 1.

OJ was guilty, he killed his ex-wife and her friend. The jury found there was reasonable doubt. It reminded us of the high burden to convict even an obviously guilty defendant.

People hate this burden, I embrace it.

And I would love to see Blagojevich, Drier and Maddoff be an example of the burden.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

N-o-n-r-e-f-u-n-d-a-b-l-e

Main Entry: non·re·fund·able
Function: adjective
: not subject to refunding or being refunded (a nonrefundable bond) (a nonrefundable fee)


There are certain things we all at least seemingly understand:

[1] "No" means "no,"

[2] "Unsubscribe" means stop sending me annoying e-mails,

[3] "Nonrefundable" means your money is not refundable, unless you agree in writing that it is nonrefundable and the person with whom you make the agreement is a criminal defense lawyer and you are not happy, don't think it "took as long" as anticipated, or decide mid-stream that you want to hire another lawyer who isn't "just trying to get you to plea guilty."

I have decided, today, that I will no longer simply include the word "nonrefundable" in my retainer agreements with a detailed explanation of the word "nonrefundable and how it affects the retainer agreement, i.e. you're not getting your money back if you choose to hire another lawyer, have a dispute with this lawyer, or otherwise wish to cancel the agreement.

What I am going to do from now on is provide the client with a separate document solely discussing the word "nonrefundable."

I am doing this because I am tired of explaining it to clients, having them nod in agreement, some acting like they are listening to me re-state the obvious, and then at some point, asking for money back.

Case in point.

I am hired to represent someone arrested in a federal case. The family comes in and has one goal in mind. Can you guess what it is? That's right, "get him out." I quote them a nonrefundable fee, put two lawyers on the case, visit the client several times, prepare for the bond hearing and voila - the judge is considering overriding the governments recommendation of no bond and asks for research, adjourning the hearing for a couple days.

The family, not pleased that the judge did not jump out of her chair at the notion that the government was seeking detention on this manslaughter case and order the defendant immediately released with the apologies of the court and the United States, fired me.

That was six months ago, and two lawyers ago.

Today I get a typewritten letter asking for a "detailed invoice," and a "check for the unused portion of the retainer."

The nonrefundable retainer.

As a young criminal defense lawyer I used to shudder when a client requested a "refund" of fees. Now, I just get annoyed, but write no checks, ever.

See, the reason we criminal defense lawyers are known for "getting the fee up front" is because we sometimes don't get the entire fee if things don't go well. The definition of "things not going well" vary, but usually entail anything less than what the client expected.

Because we cannot be in the "satisfaction" business, we have to protect ourselves, like other professionals and businesses. We have to protect ourselves from those clients who believe they can agree to something, and then break that agreement and think that the lawyer will cower or not pursue payment because we are afraid of our state bar association.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid, and I counsel all criminal lawyers that ask - not to submit to the threats of bar complaints and lawsuits by writing checks to a dissatisfied client.

Try that with a doctor and see what happens. "Doc, you said I would feel better in a week and I don't, how 'bout refunding that co-payment?"

But thank you for your letter.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

"Justice Ought Not To Be Based On Tight Money." I Disagree

Like everywhere, Florida is going through a crisis in court funding. It's everywhere. The judiciary, prosecutors, public defenders, law enforcement.

It's terrible and great at the same time.

When there's tons of money, people come up with too many ideas. Stupid ideas, like more minimum mandatories, more prosecutions of crimes that no one really cares about, more prisons to house more drug offenders that need help we "can't afford."

When there's less money, we think of ways to "cut," and "streamline." We consider not prosecuting certain crimes, not arresting every single person who commits a "nuisance" crime, not sitting behind trees and stopping cars and conducting "consensual" searches.

When money's tight we hear things like:

“We are being driven by monetary considerations in everything we do and I do not like it one bit.” Eighth Circuit State Attorney Bill Cervone.

"Justice ought not to be based on tight money." Second Circuit State Attorney Willie Meggs

Now my disagreement with these two quotes above is obviously due to my "desire to see the system collapse and criminal defendants run rampant in the streets."

Wrong. I don't want the system to collapse, just shrink.

I don't want the lack of money to cause cases against violent criminals to collapse, and I don't want the fairness of the system to be compromised due to a lack of money. Particularly, I want good prosecutors and good public defenders to remain in their offices and be paid a fair wage.

But the criminal justice system has become the dumping ground for politicians looking to remain in office regardless of their lack of ability to cure other social problems like education and health care.

Pass a minimum mandatory sentence, build another prison, take away another defense, revise the evidence code to make cases more geared towards the prosecution.

That all takes money. Money in the criminal justice system leads to more ideas, mostly bad.

When there's no money, you hear things like this from 18th Circuit Chief Judge Clayton Simmons:

"Death is too costly." “One thing I would recommend is that we would get rid of the death penalty. It’s so darn expensive from the legal side to process a case and go through all pretrial and post-trial hearings you have to have.”

So I disagree, Justice ought to be based on tight money.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Monday, December 15, 2008

We, The "Recession Proof" Criminal Defense Lawyers

I've lost track of how many times someone has said lately: "your practice is recession proof? Right?"

The logic is this: no matter how broke people are, when they get arrested or are under investigation, they will pay for a good criminal lawyer.

Nope.

To understand the logic, one must think logically.

Criminal defense lawyers are not a necessity in a bad, wait, terrible economy.

We are a luxury.

Normally, when someone is arrested, they either cough up whatever they have, put it on a credit card, use a home equity loan, other type of loan, borrow money from family or friends or their boss, or find another way to make it happen.

Now, loans are not forthcoming, credit cards are maxed, home equity lines are frozen, parents are holding on to their cash, and in sum, everyone's broke, or is acting like they are broke.

People are trying to come up with money for other necessities, like rent, mortgage payments, car payments. Money for freedom is not available as much.

So what happens? The upwardly mobile professional, maxed out on credit, living a life they cannot afford, gets popped for DUI on the way home. The good DUI lawyers, $5,000-$10,000. The hacks, $1,500, and the real estate lawyers parading as criminal lawyers, $750.

Whatcha got?

So stop asking. The answer is no, we're not recession proof. People make dumb decisions when they have money, and dumber decisions when they don't.

One thing that will never change?

There's always money for bond.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Governor Blagojevich Has A Website


Yesterday we all learned a new word: "Blagojevich"

Pronounced "What a dumb ass."

To be redundant, he's the Governor of Illinois, one of the 4 of the last 8 to be indicted. He embraces tradition like he probably embraces the phrase "don't worry how to pronounce Blagojevich, just call me "Rod."

Anyone looked at his website?

The last news release?

12/04/08 - Honoring Illinois' Fallen

Hmmmmm.

He's accused many interesting money-making ventures, the most famous being his attempt to "sell President-elect Barack Obama's U.S. Senate seat.

He's also accused of holding back $8 million in funding for the local children's hospital pending a $50,000 personal contribution for himself, but more than makes up for it with this initiative:

Governor launches annual Keep Kids Warm and Safe Campaign
The annual Keep Kids Warm and Safe Campaign is underway. The campaign is an annual effort by the State of Illinois to collect warm winter items, car seats, and food for Illinois families in need. Over the years, hundreds of thousands of items have been collected. This year's drive hopes to set a new standard.


Ahhh, setting a "new standard."

By the way, his top priority:

Gov. Blagojevich's top priority is ensuring access to quality health care for everyone in Illinois.

That Governor Rod, keeping his promise.

Then there's this just last week:

12/03/08 - Governor Blagojevich Deploys Rapid Response Team to Aid Affected U.S. Steel Workers

Must have known he'd be needing a door made of steel real soon.

Here's the best:

Prior to his election, Gov. Blagojevich was a Cook County Assistant State's Attorney. During his tenure, he prosecuted domestic abuse cases and felony weapons charges, which made him a strong advocate for tougher sentencing laws when he was elected to the General Assembly in 1992.

We need strong advocates.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Monday, December 08, 2008

Scrap The Entire System

As budget cuts loomed this year, my elected State Attorney reported to the media the following statement:

"We won't be able to prosecute every case."

My thought: "Right. Who ever said you should?"

Then I remembered: victims, surburban authors of letters-to-the-editor, and niche groups whose agenda it is to convince the public that defendants are running out of courthouses instead of into the jails at an alarming rate.

On Friday I watched a young girl, first-time offender, arraigned on a non-violent felony offense.

No plea offer.

Why?

"The victim wants the max, 5 years," said the prosecutor. Refreshingly, the judge, senior prosecutor in the courtroom, and I, chuckled.

Then I saw this: A 65 year old woman, 9 blocks from my house was tied up and robbed in her house by 2 men who saw her gardening in the middle of the day.

I immediately wondered which police officer was forced off his perch behind a tree to put down his radar gun and rush to the scene. Or was it the one who was harassing the poor black guy drinking in front of the 7-11?

Our priorities when it comes to criminal justice don't exist anymore. Arrest everyone. Prosecute everyone. Jail everyone. Let the victims run the system.

My suggestions:

[1] End the death penalty.

(In Kerry-esque form, I was for the death penalty before I was against it.) I've done the research, unlike many out there who are for it because, well, because. And no, I haven't had a family member killed, and while I may feel different if that happened, that's one of the reasons I am against it.

[2] End all minimum mandatory sentences.

Minimum mandatory sentences were created by and for one reason: Republican distrust of judges. It's just like managed healthcare where insurance companies control the decision whether and how to treat a patient. Return discretion to judges and prosecutors.

Legislators, most of who haven't entered a criminal courtroom in years, if at all, are mostly pandering to the public and covering by using the "its what the public wants" line. Most people don't want a first time non-violent drug offender imprisoned for 15 or 30 years. At least those that live in homes with lights and running water.

[3] Treat the victim as the victim, not the prosecutor.

What the victim "wants?" The victim may "want" to bring a gun to the courtroom and shoot the defendant.

We've moved so far towards Mob Rule that its unclear today whether the prosecutors (those that throw their discretion to the victim) are solely determing whether they can prove the case beyond a reasonable doubt and if so, what a reasonable sentence is, or if they are required to simply assist the victim's interest in jail, jail, jail. Victims are victims, prosecutors are prosecutors, and judges are judges. Is that so hard to understand?

[4] Remove Rule 404(b) from the Evidence Code.

Rule 404(b) allows prosecutors to introduce "prior bad acts" to help prove their case. I say if you can't prove this defendant committed this crime without prejudicing the jury with his prior bad acts, the case should not be prosecuted.

[5] Decriminalize most misdemeanors.

Selling flowers without a license, not wearing glasses while driving, drinking in public, possession of a shopping cart (don't believe that one? - Any person who removes a shopping cart from the premises of the owner,or is in the possession of any shopping cart,shall be presumed to be in possession of stolen property
and is guilty of a misdemeanor of the first degree,punishable by a term of imprisonment of up to one (1) year as provided by Sections 506.509 and 506.513 of the Florida Statutes.


Want to add to the list?

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Saturday, December 06, 2008

There Are No "Lawyers" Being Laid Off - Ramblings About Law Firms

Like the newspaper at my front door, everyday I receive lists of law firms "laying off" lawyers.

If you are laid off, you are not a lawyer, you are a tool, a device, a big or small firm expendability. Check yourself.

Lawyers have clients. Clients have lawyers. If you are being laid off, you have no "client" to speak of. You are part of a team of lawyers that can handle the client, or your client is worthless to the firm. You are irrelevant to those you work for, and who you really work for is not a client, it is other lawyers.

Time to think about working for clients. Isn't that why you wanted to become a lawyer, or were you one of the L.A. Law watchers merely entering this profession for the mahogany desk and nice views (paid for by your firm)?

The country is filled with people calling themselves "lawyers" who entered this profession for the wrong reason. Maybe it's not such a bad idea that they never really achieved what they perceived themself to be, and now find themselves looking for work, as "lawyers."

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Free O.J, The Murderous Ignorant Arrogant Victim Of Himself

Two questions every criminal defense lawyer is asked:

1. What do you do when someone tells you they're guilty? (Answer: They don't, we just know.)

2. Do you think OJ "did it?" (Answer: Is that a serious question? Of course he "did it.")

But this case, his new "Vegas" case bothers me and I think he shouldn't have been arrested. (Call me a liberal, pinko, commie, criminal coddling scumbag, but please, read on.)

Picture this, Vegas hotel security enters a hotel room and sees a bunch of big guys, sports memorabilia, guns, and a video camera. What's the next step? I suggest it's to start pouring drinks, or, if they are concerned that there is something more serious going on, politely ask everyone to adjourn to the casino.

Now put O.J in the room. Arrest, trial, conviction, prison.

C'mon.

This wasn't "armed robbery" or "kidnapping." This was "give me my sh*t back, mutha f*****ker." Appropriate penalty, possibly a tossing out of the hotel and a "stay away" order.

Not for O.J. He brutally killed two people, and wasn't smart enough to go to the top of a mountain and not come down.

This IS his payback. To believe anything else is truly "ignorant."

But still, I say Free O.J.

And I want my t-shirt.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Thursday, December 04, 2008

Does Anyone Really Know What Kind of Time OJ Will Get, Does Anyone Really Care?

Tomorrow, December 5 is the first time in history that OJ Simpson will be sentenced as a convicted felon.

I hear crickets.

Remember OJ? The football player, NBC commentator, subject of the most highly publicized California highway chase in history? Remember? He was acquitted of murder?

Anyway, tomorrow he will be sentenced to prison, probably a lot of prison. The legal blogs, normally buzzing with talk of a "celebrity" sentencing, are awfully quiet.

Word is he'll get 8 years, 15 years, life?

Seems though that no one really knows what time he'll get, and no one really cares.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Wednesday, December 03, 2008

The Blood Oath Against "Unavailability"

With what I've been hearing lately, eventually when I go on the website to file a "Notice of Unavailability" in federal court, the option won't exist.

Notices of Unavailability are mainly used by civil lawyers, who agree on the setting of their cases. In criminal court, I'll occasionally receive one from a prosecutor who is taking "annual leave" during the pendancy of our case, or is otherwise "unavailable."

I file them sparingly. If I know I have a vacation or another case set for trial, I'd rather the judge know when they are scheduling trials and hearings, than hope that nothing is set at a conflicting time.

I am learning recently that while some judges have no problem with the Notice of Unavailability, this document is interpreted by other judges as secretly saying "judge, I don't give a crap about your courtroom, your calendar, or your role in this case."

Case in point:

A federal judge in another state set a telephone status conference at the same time I was going to be picking a jury in a federal case in Miami. I advised the judge of this conflict. He berated me and said "maybe I'll send you a plane ticket so you won't have to appear by phone."

I've also heard from other federal judges that they do not like when these documents are filed. Why? What's different about me because I'm a criminal defense lawyer?

I know the answer.

It's well-known that there is a perception in both state and especially federal court that if you file a notice of appearance in a criminal case, you are taking the following blood oath against "unavailability."

1, I will not go on vacation or take "long-weekends."

2. I will not have another case pending during the pendancy of this case.

3. I will not ever speak of plays, sporting events, or any other event regarding my children. My wife can handle all of that "fluff." I'll drive them up to college at the appropriate time (if you let me).

4. Doctors appointments? I feel OK.

5. I will not schedule any new or existing client meetings, depositions, or other practice related things that cause me to be unavailable at any time you would like me here.

6. I will drop everything and be in your courtroom in one hour, no exceptions.

7. I will accept that this case is the most important event going on in your courtroom, and my life.

Me, I'll still file the Notice of Unavailability, because sometimes, like you judge, I'm just unavailable.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

Wal-Mart Black Friday Trampling Death Investigative Final Report

November 29, 2008-Valley Station, New York

At approximately 3 a.m. several hundred "if it's free it's for me" collected at the entrance of the Wal-Mart discount store to await a 5 a.m. "Black Friday" opening in which those present were anticipating additional discounts on items not needed, or affordable based on their current credit and mortgage situation.
At approximately 4:59 a.m. shoppers began to attempt their own entry into the Wal-Mart by tearing off hinges on the front doors and stampeding towards the "electronics" section. A casualty of this "stampede" was the trampling of a 34 year old "temporary employee" of Wal-Mart who was not employed long enough to attend the "how to avoid getting trampled on Black Friday by the disgusting excuse for humans that live in neighboring homes.

Upon questioning, police gathered the following information:

"What guy?"

"What does him laying there have to do with me getting a T.V.?"

"Am I going to have to go to another Wal-Mart to get an XBOX 360?"

"He wasn't a very good greeter, he wouldn't help us take the doors off the hinges."

"Is the pizza thing open?"

As it cannot be determined how the stampede began or who dealt the fatal blow to the worker, this investigation is closed.

Wal-Mart though, is open, with not only "Low, Low prices, but also "Low, Low people."

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Criminal Defense Lawyer's Thanksgiving

I've done this post before. I didn't check the old one, but I will after I write this to see if I'm still thankful for the same things as a criminal defense lawyer.

I am thankful for:

1. Judges who say "don't worry sir, we'll pass your case until your lawyer gets here, I have plenty of other cases to handle."

2. Clients who don't spend the entire case telling me what their "friend who's a lawyer in New York" said we should do.

3. Courtroom staff who believe they have something else to do but tell lawyers to shut up all day.

4. Courtroom staff who don't get annoyed just at the notion that I have something to ask them.

5. Courtroom staff who don't spend all day letting everyone know they hate their job, their judge, their lives, everything.

6. Lawyers who have "been doing this" for longer than me who still enjoy it, or at least don't act like they have the worst job in the world.

7. Lawyers who have been doing this for less time than me who are passionate about, well, everything criminal defense.

8. Friendly cops.

9. The voluntary surrender.

10. Potential clients who don't ask "if I hire you, won't I look guilty?"

11. Clients who get a good result and don't act like they expected that exact result, and would have received it without you or any lawyer.

12. Return phone calls from prosecutors.

13. Probation officers who "don't want to violate" my client.

14. Cops that understand everyone can have a bad night, even if on that bad night, they assaulted a police officer, drove drunk, or did something else "stupid."

15. Fellow criminal lawyers who cover for you, and take care of whatever "pops" up at that "simple" hearing

17. Not working for.....anyone.

18. Judicial Assistants who don't act like getting on calendar is like asking for the parting of the red sea.

19. Judges that understand vacations, school plays, traffic, appearing by phone, and just "sorry, I was........"

20. that I have the greatest job any lawyer could have.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

“If I follow your analysis, we might as well do away with private defense counsel.”

UPDATED: Full analysis of motion hearing here.

That was U.S. District Judge Marcia Cooke at the Motion to Dismiss hearing today in U.S. v. Ben Kuehne.

More to come.....

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Law Enforcement's Rule #1 To Fight Budget Cuts: Scare The Crap Out Of The Public

If the Florida Department of Law Enforcement has to cut their budget by 18 million dollars, they may have to end Amber Alerts and Sex Offender Registry Notices.

The headline reads: "Declining state revenues could cause Florida’s Department of Law Enforcement to ax programs that keep our kids safe."

the story continues: "Amber Alerts could be a thing of the past in Florida. The program ended up on a list of things FDLE would get rid of if it was forced to cut its budget by 10 percent."

"The sex offender registry, where 44,000 people signed up to be notified when a sex offender moves near by, is also on the cut list."

Florida’s Chief Financial Officer is warning lawmakers that if FDLE was hit too hard by budget cuts, public safety would be at risk.

To put that in other words: "You touch our budget, good luck finding your missing kids and knowing if there's sex offenders in your neighborhood."

Typical.

It's what's referred to as the "Parade of Horribles." Tell the public that their biggest fears will come true, and get them to rally.

It gets old. If there's one thing government agencies don't like to do, it's prioritize. Announce cuts in law enforcement, and the first talking point is that "public safety will be affected."

Enough.

People are concerned about violent criminals, personal crimes like strong arm robbery, rape, and murder, and you know what, sometimes you just can't devote resources to hassling people selling flowers without a license. FDLE doesn't use their time for "selling flowers without a license" cases, but I trust they have some other program, department, or priority less important than missing kids or sex offenders.

So FDLE, you want to beat the drum that you won't be able notify the public about missing kids or sex offenders, good luck. Maybe you can spend that precious time looking for some credibility.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The ABA Wants To Know If You're Broke

The American Bar Association is conducting a survey to determine how the economy is affecting lawyers. Kind of like asking if sunlight causes a tan.

Here's the survey.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Monday, November 17, 2008

Standing Up For An Indicted Colleague

Hope to see you or your money at this event Thursday for Ben Kuehne.

Wall Street Journal Blog link to article

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Saturday, November 15, 2008

This Week Is "Get To Know A Fellow Blogger Week," Or So Says Houston's Mark Bennett

One of my favorite bloggers is Houston's Mark Bennett. What makes Mark's blog great is that he doesn't just post news about criminal law, he brings himself into the blog with his brutally honest opinions and analysis of the most interesting parts of our system.

Mark is also not beyond competing with Hallmark for creating his own holidays or "weeks" as I see from him declaring next week "Meet a Fellow Blogger Week."

(Is there a card for this Mark?)

So he goes on to list some bloggers that you may want to oh my, pick up the phone and call?????? Blasphemy!

Here's the link to the post, and here's some other bloggers with which you may want to have a real conversation.

Ft. Worth's Shawn Matlock

Glen Graham's Tulsa Criminal Defense

Grey Tesh's Palm Beach Criminal Lawyer Blog

John H. Bryan's West Virginia Criminal Law Blog

I recommend it.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Check The Verdict Form Guilty or uh, uh, uh

Hills v. State, 33 F.L.W D2539 (1st DCA 10/29/2008)

"The court commits fundamental error in submitting a case to the jury with a verdict form that does not have a "Not guilty" option.


    Brian L. Tannebaum
    Tannebaum Weiss, PL
    150 W Flagler Street
    Penthouse
    Miami, Florida 33130
    305.374.7850
    www.tannebaumweiss.com

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It Could Be Worse - Blogger, Blogger's Lawyer Jailed In Burma

On a day when we celebrate America.....

Blogger jailed for 20 years over poem that mocked Burmese dictator

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

How Not To Respond To A Criminal Defense Lawyer When He Doesn't Hire You

Colleague sent me this e-mail he received in response to him rejecting a candidate for his firm:


"That was the biggest mistake you ever made......ur hiring a law clerk and u were fortunate enough to find a licensed attorney with the academic credentials i have to interview for it. You'll come to regret that decision when the candidate you selected falls on their face or leaves you hanging and u will especially regret it when i go to te state attorney's office and whip you guys in court every time i come up against you. Good luck to u and ur second rate, pitiful little firm."


Any advice for junior?

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

What Is A "Reasonable Fee?"

I have lost count of the e-mails I've seen requesting referrals to criminal and civil lawyers. I've also lost count of how many of them seek a "reasonable fee."

The problem is that I don't know what defines a "reasonable fee."

My prediction?

Anything from $0 to $500.

Am I right?

I have another question:

If criminal defense lawyers are tired of some civil lawyers believing that we are worth much less than we charge, how are we "acquitting" ourselves when we try to refer our now broke clients to them?

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Coming Soon To A Town Near You: FBI Bake Sale

After Hurricane Katrina, the federal government tried desperately to convince the American public that Homeland Security's complete focus on terrorism had nothing to do with their complete failure to properly respond to hurricane victims.

We all knew it was untrue.

After 9/11 even local police departments spent a majority of their time jumping on the anti-terrorism bus, convinced that Osama Bin Laden may be in a local pizza joint, driving drunk on an American interstate, or shopping at a mall near you.

Now we read the the FBI, while asking for an extra 1,100 agents to investigate white collar crime, received negative 132. The FBI, of course has also mainly investigating counter terrorism since 2001.

This New York Times article lays in out in complete detail.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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Friday, October 17, 2008

Ape Shit


The Associated Press

ALTOONA, Pa. -- A man who went to buy cigarettes in a gorilla suit to win a bet with his girlfriend is now being accused of receiving stolen property. Altoona police said they noticed a 20-year-old man walking down the city's Sixth Avenue just after midnight on Wednesday dressed as an ape.

Police said that when they stopped the man, they discovered he was wanted for receiving stolen property.

Police said the man told them he had gone to the convenience store in disguise because his girlfriend had bet him he wouldn't do it.

The man was charged with receiving stolen property and was released on bond.

No word whether he threw rocks at the police, although I understand when asked his name he merely beat his chest and shook his head.

Hey, it's Friday, what do you want from me?



Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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