Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Didn't I Already Say I Don't Pay For Clients?

The author of the below e-mail obviously didn't read my post a couple days ago about bullshit I don't do.

This is not the first time I've received this piece of garbage email:

Good afternoon,

I was just looking at your site, and I have a number of clients within our network looking for a DUI/DWI lawyer. I am seeking to work with one attorney exclusively. I do not work as a lead broker, referral agency, or pay-per click advertising. I'm simply looking to direct my clients to a relevant site when they're looking for an attorney. Your site looks like it could make a strong fit for them. I am looking to work with an attorney today, therefore give me a call as soon as possible.


So let me get this straight:

[1] You have a number of clients looking for a DUI lawyer?

"Clients" as in recently arrested clients? Because in a standard DUI case, a client has to apply for an administrative hearing regarding their driver's license suspension within 10 days. You have a "number of clients" who are currently looking for a DUI lawyer? That's amazing.

[2] You "do not work as a a lead broker, referral agency, or pay-per click advertising?"

Ok, then if you have these clients, why don't you just send them to me and I'll say thank you?

[3] My "site" looks like it could "make a strong fit for them?"

These are criminal defendants looking for a good "site?"

Are these clients, noe facing jail and other penalties, looking for a "site" that is a strong fit

[4] You are looking to work "exclusively" with "one attorney" and "today."

How many lawyers did you send this to?

Let me answer these questions.

You may not call yourself someone who is involved as a "lead broker, referral agency," or involved in "pay-per click advertising," but you are looking for me to pay for something, and it's probably not clients. It's probably placement of my site somewhere.

So why don't you re-word that email to reflect more honestly what you are doing?

Something like:

I was just looking at your site as well as the site of several other criminal lawyers, and I have a number of clients within our network looking for a DUI/DWI lawyer. These are not clients in the sense that you define clients, but I know how you lawyers react when you read the word "clients" so I thought I'd get one by you. I am seeking to work with one attorney exclusively. I do not work as a lead broker, referral agency, or pay-per click advertising. I do something like that, but know that those terms are frowned upon by lawyers who don't pay for clients. I'm simply looking to direct my clients (again, not real "clients") to a relevant site when they're looking for an attorney. Your site looks like it could make a strong fit for them. I am looking to work with an attorney today, therefore give me a call as soon as possible. (I say that to make you think you will immediately start to make money.)

Oh, and no thanks.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

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