For Any Federal Judges Who May Be Interested...

The other day I was listening to a federal judge talk about, what federal judges like to talk about - how we lawyers should treat them, practice in front of them, and the things they hate.

So I thought I'd return the favor: (WARNING - attempts at humor are below)

[1] I understand that your day sometimes frees up due to a trial that ended in a guilty plea, or some other scheduling issue, but can you understand that when I am scheduled to appear at 2p.m., it does not necessarily mean that I have cleared my entire day, making it possible for you call my office at 10 a.m. and request that I "come over now?"

[2] If I take the podium and mistakenly say "good morning" and announce my appearance before you've asked for "appearances," can you not make a big deal out of it by making it clear that I've spoken out of turn?

[3] There are no awards, bonuses, or monumental legacies left by granting no continuances. If the Government thought every case should go to trial 31 days after arraignment, they wouldn't have a 70 day speedy trial rule.

[4] If I had a year or four to investigate my case, interview witnesses, and speak with the agents, I'd always be ready at the first calendar call too, and be saying things like "we're always ready judge." Really, I would.

[5] Are lawyers really that rude to your staff that you always have to tell us to "be nice" to everyone? Have you ever thought that......nevermind.



Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

The Cold Pathetic Heart Of The American Criminal Justice System

LINCOLN, Neb. -- A 10-year-old Lincoln girl dying of brain cancer has one wish -- for her father to be at her bedside.

It isn't likely to happen. Her father is in a federal prison in Yankton, S.D.

Vonda Yaeger is pleading with the warden for compassion to grant her daughter's wish.

"She wants her dad. She goes to her room crying because she wants her dad," Yaeger said.

Jason Yaeger was convicted of methamphetamine charges nearly five years ago and is scheduled to be released next year.

"We've never asked them to release him early. Never asked them to change anything. We've asked them to just give him some time to be here," Vonda Yaeger said.

Jayci Yaeger has been allowed three escorted visits with her father, but each trip lasts only a couple of hours and costs the family hundreds of dollars. Requests for longer furloughs have been denied.

"They say it doesn't constitute an extraordinary circumstance," Vonda Yaeger said.


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com

Voluntary Surrender Shenanigans

Six a.m., the number one time for police, federal agents, to bust in the house, wife and kids woken up crying, begging, "no, no, no!" "Don't take my Daddy." The wife asks "where are you taking him?" "Shut up lady, he's a criminal," she's told.

The truth is, just like my 5-year old likes to "press the button" on the elevator, law enforcement lives for these moments. These are the moments where the investigation ends, and the prize is the arrest, the "perp walk," the embarrassing scene in the neighborhood.

Many times, the future defendant is well aware of the pending arrest. He's been under investigation for months or even years, defense lawyers, prosecutors, and law enforcement have spoken and met.

Even in these situations, the "voluntary surrender" is something for which we beg.

This whole thing is embarrassing. Enough already.

The purpose of an arrest is to take the defendant into custody and present them before a judge or have them bonded out immediately. It's not a damn prize or game.

And I'm tired of prosecutors telling me "I'm not going to interfere with their desire to arrest your client." What are you all so afraid of? Tell the officers/agents, I know this defense attorney, he keeps his word, let his client surrender. If they say no, so be it.

Right now I have a police officer client. The arresting agency, another police department, wants to arrest him at his police station. Nice way to maintain that "fellow officer" thing." (UPDATE - THEY'VE AGREED TO A VOLUNTARY SURRENDER!)

I hear other stories from prosecutors about why the defendant can't surrender - my favorite - "ok, he can surrender, but not to the jail, to the police department, because they want him to ride in one of their police cars."

Let me not leave out all the mature people in our system that when asked about a voluntary surrender, say "I don't care about that."


Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense attorney in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com