A blog by Miami Criminal Defense Lawyer Brian Tannebaum. Commenting on criminal law issues of local and national interest.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

A Math Formula That Determines Whether You're Getting Hired - A Scientific Analysis (Kind Of)

There is a formula for determining from the call about a new case, whether you will be hired.

I give it to you here:

Date of arrest (1) + number of days until call + 2 if call is made in afternoon + 2 if call comes from brother/sister/friend (+3 if girlfriend) + 3 if case is set for arraignment in less than 4 days.

Subtract 2 if appointment is made for same day or within 24 hours of call.

If the score is more than 5, you're not getting hired.

(This formula excludes federal "bond hearing auditions.")

So let's take Joe's arrest for possession of cocaine.

Here's how it works:

The date of arrest is always 1.

So Joe is arrested on a Friday.

Joe calls you Monday.

If he calls Monday morning, you add 3 for a score of 4.

If he makes the appointment for the same day or within 24 hours, subtract 2 and you score an even better final score of 2.

Congratulations, you're getting hired.

Now let's say Joe is arrested on Friday (1) and calls Wednesday afternoon.

Oh no, you add 5 for the Wednesday call and 2 for the afternoon call for a score of 8.

I'm sorry, you're merely another lawyer being asked about fees because Joe's Monday and Tuesday appointments charged "too much money."

You're not getting hired.

Now for a last example before you take this formula and put it on a "sticky" on your computer monitor:

Joe is arrested Friday (1).

Call comes Tuesday morning. (5)

You're still OK.

But, the call comes from his girlfriend.

I'm sorry, you now have to add 3 for the girlfriend call, putting you out of contention with 8 points.

Wait though, the appointment is made for the same day, allowing you to subtract 2.

Still, you are left with 6 and out of contention. (Makes sense, appointment made by girlfriend means client isn't showing up.)

So enjoy, play with it.

Works every time.

Brian Tannebaum is a criminal defense lawyer in Miami, Florida practicing in state and federal court. Read his free ebook The Truth About Hiring A Criminal Defense Lawyer. To learn more about Brian and his firm, Tannebaum Weiss, please visit www.tannebaumweiss.com


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1 comment:

  1. Anonymous2:35 PM

    Brian, this one made me chuckle. Don't forget the +5 for collect call from jail.